Validate: verb to make valid; substantiate; confirm. Synonyms include authenticate, verify, and prove. (Dictionary.com)
I need some validation right about now.
Although today ended up being a fairly fun and productive day, when I stopped to think about specific things I just started to lose myself. Am I good enough? Why can't I be better? If I had been good enough I would have made it, right?
Needless to say, I did not make the top choir. There's a little complication behind the story, but I'll spare you those details. When the results rolled in I didn't take it very hard - I just kept going on with my day. No big deal. I know more people in the other choir anyway.
But when I stopped to think about it tonight I really lost myself in the low-self confidence hurricane I can be easily swept into. If I was good enough I should have made it, no matter what anyone says. How come people younger than me can get into the choir I'm in now? Am I just not good enough? Can I put on a recital? Is this all a facade to make me feel better?
I need some verification, validation, proof that I am good enough. I hope I can find it in myself.
Venting,
Kt
Well, I have no idea how you did in your audition, or even in general how your singing compares to that top choir's, but I do know that 1) you're a perfectly beautiful musician and 2) even if you weren't, you're still really good at deriving everyday joy from music regardless of what anyone else says, and 3) you are a kind, smart, important person.
ReplyDelete