Okay, Okay. I'm here.

Hey everybody,

I swear I'm still alive. Honestly, I've been doing a lot of good stuff in my life - getting my homework done, going home when I can, the usual - but I haven't been keeping up with this. I've been thinking of multiple things I could do to keep this going. One great idea that I got from Carah Amelie (this video in particular: http://www.youtube.com/user/CarahsLife#p/u/8/xMI75Qg1tOY) was to write down one sentence of something you did day. I would vary it by going back and forth from a sentence a day post to full posts so you wouldn't only be reading one sentence every day, but that may get me back on track. I liked posting on here when I was in the swing of it, but I don't want to force myself to write things when I'm not interested. This one sentence a day thing may be a good way to not only get back in the swing, but compile a record of what I'm doing with my life! Maybe it will motivate me on those lazy days when I want to just lay down and watch t.v. - "No one wants to read that! Go do something!"

Okay, I think I might try that. See how it goes. I hope it doesn't bore you all.

Instead of summarizing a bunch of things that I have been doing these past few weeks, I thought I'd share some pictures with you! This weekend my mom and I made a trip to my grandma's house. Now that it's spring time her flowers were blooming, especially the irises and peonies. There weren't many irises, but there was an abundance of light pink and white peonies so my mom and I picked some to give to my grandma and some for me to take and put in my room at my  apartment.

They're beautiful:

And they're very fragrant, too! My room smells lovely :D

I don't know what it is about the stems, but I find them interesting to look at in the clear vase:

I guess I find nature in general fun to look at. Although I am more of an indoorsy than outdoorsy person, I find nature extremely fascinating. When I was in high school I used to go around and take millions of pictures of flowers. They have their own snowflake like quality - no two are exactly the same. It's beautiful and original. Something I feel we have trouble recreating in our modern society. "Everything's been said and done". Well, I think nature's still speaking.

I hope you all are having a wonderful summer. I unfortunately will not be spending it relaxing. I'll be taking beacoup de classes. Have a lovely day tomorrow - I hope it's sunny!

Kt

Finals = Collegiate Death

Finals are done and now that I have a little bit of extra time I think I should be able to write on here more. ...Well, I'm taking five classes over the summer (and looking for a job), so maybe I won't have all the extra time I'm hoping to have... We'll see!

Finals really suck the life out of you. Mainly when they are back to back like mine were this year. In past years I've had finals spread evenly throughout the week. This year I had everything crammed into two days - Monday and Tuesday. Cramming all of the school work into two days is enough to make you want to pull your hair out, but on Monday and Tuesday?! At the beginning of the week?!? I was ready to be struck by a lightning bolt. It didn't help that we were still learning new material on Thursday for the final I had on Monday.

I survived though. Sort of. I'm one of the students that cares A LOT about their grades. If I don't do well on something I will cry. Not the pity-party kind of cry. The I-can't-believe-I-got-that-I'm-so-ashamed-of-myself kind of cry. Part of that pressure comes from my parents, but a lot of it I put on myself. Even though I doubt my future employers will be looking strictly at my grades I want my grades to be at their best. Not only so I can have a fantastic GPA, but also so they reflect that I worked hard and learned a lot.

Grades are already coming in. So far I'm doing all right, but it's the two classes I haven't heard from yet that are making me nervous. So while I wait for those results I start my summer session.

I went home this past weekend and am still unpacking. (Laundry + Parent's house = Score!) I should finish that, shower up, and get everything together for my three-and-a-half hour class. Wish me luck!

It's a beautiful day outside, so get your sunshine on!
Kt

Am I A Fainting Goat?

Hey everyone!

It's been a while and I wanted to talk to you, so I thought I'd share a story.

I'm a fainter. Not a oh-my-gosh-the-famous-guy-touched-me fainter. I'm more of a whoops-I-didn't-have-a-big-meal-I'm-dehydrated-and-under-bright-lights fainter. I learned about this in middle school. We have this large festival in my old school district that gathers all of the arts together - performance and visual. Three of the performances of the day combine all of the districts middle school choirs (6th, 7th, and 8th grades) to sing a few pieces together. Although the choir members had the whole high school auditorium stage space and risers to fill there were so many singers that people began to file off the risers and onto the floor. I think the large number of choir members has to do with a couple things:
1. In middle school you still have to do what your parents say, i.e. You're taking choir and you'll stick with it until high school when you weasel your way out of it.
2. My district was huge. This festival was split between two sides of the district, but we still had choir members that were almost offstage.

Well, in 6th grade, during rehearsal, I fainted. It was a combination of a lot of things, I think. I don't remember eating much for breakfast (I think I was rushed out the door...I'm not sure), the lights and crowding of people provided excess heat, and cold air rushed underneath the risers creating a tornado like effect in my body. The room spun and faded into black. I heard a large BOOM (the sound of my body falling) and was able to see about 15 seconds later. I was lying on the riser below the one I was standing on looking up at the girls I stood next to who were terrified. I was helped up, taken to a chair, given water, and my mom came by and fed me Pop Tarts (the most nutritional breakfast like object from the vending machine).

I've grown attune to this feeling. I experienced it the next year at the same festival (yes, I fainted again) and the year after that (I caught myself that time and didn't completely faint). Today I experienced this feeling again. We were rehearsing for a choir concert in the recital hall. I, for some stupid reason, didn't grab a drink of water before hand even though I was thirsty. I also didn't think through my lunch choice - a deconstructed PB&J and water - which was obviously not enough to sustain me for more than two hours. I felt antsy all through the rehearsal, but right at the end it hit me. We changed positions and I could feel the drain of energy. I realized that if I didn't get off that stage I would probably fall over right there. I walked off the stage and got myself some water, took a breath, and headed back in. When I got back up there I realized I was an idiot - water didn't do the trick and I was still pretty woozy. I pulled myself offstage one more time and just sat and studied my score while the choir sang. One of the graduate students came and asked me if I was alright - "You look really pale". I told him I was fine and ended up drinking more water and leaving rehearsal feeling like a weakling.

I'm pretty darn hard on myself. Should I really feel bad for taking myself off the risers before I fainted? No! Should I be concerned that my choir director will think less of me because I almost fainted? No! Then, why do I? Because I want people to think good things about me, like all people do - duh! But seriously, I'm a bit of a people pleaser and I know it. I hope my director knows that I was trying to be responsible by taking care of the situation instead of letting the situation take care of me.

I treated myself to a frozen Mountain Dew afterwards (I wanted a frozen Coke, but it was still mixing and wasn't frozen). That and a new issue of Glamour brightened my afternoon.

Off to bed! Love you all,
Kt